“My Story”
A Poem by Cheng Lao

I sit and ask myself today, WHAT IS MY STORY… just to release a portion of ME over coffee,
I may linger whole day in this crossway but will this make me SEE how today will turn out to be?
No way! I don’t have that ability, I fully guarantee!
But still I have everything to say on things concerning ME, such human vanity.

I know that I am just a mere CLAY
Which is a big irony,
For I am such a big star in my life’s play
Like the queen bee CONTROLLING all within her colony.

Here goes different versions of my story – which one would you like to hear primarily?
Would you like me to tell you about VICTORY or SORRY?
Funny, for I just said that this is about MY STORY, but … frankly?
What I can only see are scattered fragments and even I DON’T KNOW HOW my story will end really.

There are days when God shows me His glory and leads me to VICTORY,
But there are also days when all of a sudden I feel weary and SORRY,
Like a song that shifts from an upbeat to a sad tone of melancholy,
I flip my past victories into sorry and sorry suddenly becomes my story.

How I easily forget the other side of sorry is to me scary,
All the past victories that God had led me to see I waste away,
‘Yes, it’s very elementary,’ and I hear you say, ‘Oh that’s easy!’

But when things do not become according to how I decree,
There’s this voice within that says, ‘I sought YOU out on this why this MISERY?’
This PAIN IN ME because I expected so DIFFERENTLY,
Why give me a HARD KICK when what I wanted was a TENDER KISS… did you sleep on my request?

As my feet walk on different paths each day,
I sometimes wish that my journey will end on that sign that says ONLY HOORAY!
‘Could life be just ABOUT VICTORY?’ . . . like a child I query
Just about victory and not pass thru this HIGH way of CHANGING from GLORY to GLORY.

If my story can have its TAKE AWAY it might probably go this way:
To let my expectations GO and instead say, ‘Lord, have YOUR WAY IN ME.’
NOW, that I’ve finally understood the He should be the CENTER of MY STORY
And that my story is not about my endless personal litanies only
I now can SEE! I now can SEE!
…that God had really been busy creating a GEM out of His POTTERY
plunged in this bowel of disarray known as CLAY
…that though the journey was very COSTLY but the LESSON I got has ETERNAL BEAUTY
and it is F-A-R MORE expensive than MONEY.